Many people face the challenge of being alone at Christmas time. All around us is the expectation from society not to be alone and it can be hard to resist the pull of that anticipation.
It doesn’t have to be a negative – being alone doesn’t mean being lonely. It can be a positive, quiet time to connect within.
In this blog, Keri Ahmet shares her reflections on embracing the positivity of solitude during the holiday season.
“As I was having my hair cut the other day the chatty hairdresser asked me what I was doing for Christmas and was I enjoying all the pre-Christmas catchups and celebrations.
It occurred to me, as it does every year, that Christmas means so many different things for people. Some love the busyness, the family and friend time, the noise, the food and drink while for others Christmas is a deeply spiritual time and/or, a time for reflection and solitude.
My diary is not filled to the brim with invitations to celebrate the festive season and for the briefest moment, I felt at a loss to answer. Would she think I was sad, old and lonely? Perhaps unloved or worse, unlovable?
What are you doing for Christmas?
It’s a much-asked and sometimes dreaded question for so many different reasons.
Many of those who are grieving may well be dreading this time of year when there’s almost a pressure for everyone to be ‘happy’. That can be a sharp contrast to the inner reality of grief and loss. Humans are social beings and sitting quietly and in solitude is not something we all do easily.
When I finally answered the lovely lass, it was with a smile and a very polite, “absolutely nothing!”
Being alone doesn’t have to mean being lonely, and being alone at Christmas doesn’t have to be a negative experience. Neither does it mean that you’ve necessarily made a series of bad decisions. Sometimes it’s just how life works out. And for some of us, solitude is bliss!
For some people, the build-up, the great expectations and often the miserable disappointments, the panics, arguments, the fretting over the dinner, the turkey, the getting of presents and endless decorations, the financial stress – becomes a trial they’d rather not endure. Sometimes it’s just wonderful to let all that go, take a deep breath and enjoy the quiet.
We don’t need to be busy or social
We can be alone and happy and at peace in our own space. Solitude can be heaven. Curling up with a good book or a piece of beautiful music can be more than enough. Enjoying our own company can become a treasure beyond price.”
Wherever you are on the journey towards Christmas, the Team at Quest for Life wish you peace – peace with yourself, peace in your heart and peace in your world.
Our programs at Quest for Life show you ways you can be more at peace with yourself. They offer pathways to hope and healing. Learn more about our Residential Programs, Workplace Programs and Online Courses.